She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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