i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
