would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize