i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
