I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
