Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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