He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
