It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
