what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
