I love having hate sex.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
