Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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