For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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