low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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