Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm just crazy horny about you
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
