Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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