nut hugger
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
last night I used snow as a chaser
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