I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
