Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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