3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
