dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
