But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize