just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
