All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
