Tell her she can't have a vagina
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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