I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
