talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
