i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Be still, my beating vagina.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
