Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The ass gains better be worth it
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