I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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