I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
