Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
