She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
