Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
