why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize