fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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