I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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