At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
