Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
