I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
