I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
