So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
