dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
