This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
