There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
