i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
