i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
