You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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