doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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