Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
