dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
