well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
