He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize