i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
