Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Man, jail baloney is awful.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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