I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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