You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
