I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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