u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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