That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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