would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
