I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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