Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
