He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
