she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
