i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
