apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
