ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you guys were way drunker than both of me
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
