Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
