I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
