Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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